Limericks

[francoisfou]

It was not Monkey pox

[Galfon]

just chafes from her frocks

[francoisfou]

That inflamed her troublesome piles.

[francoisfou]

Her doctor prescribed some Deep Heat

[Galfon]

to apply before, then after - repeat

[francoisfou]

The pain was intense

[Galfon]

but relief immense

[francoisfou]

But the smell knocked you right off your feet.

[francoisfou]

A young girl from Berwick-on-Tweed..

[Galfon]

got caught in a drunken stampede

[francoisfou]

The booze had been flowing..

[Galfon]

some just kept going..

[francoisfou]

So she fled to the hills at full speed.







She was scared someone might pop her cherry..

[Galfon]

she was taking home for her friend, Terry

[francoisfou]

But Tel's just a cad..

[Galfon]

a right jack-the-lad..

[francoisfou]

Who stays home to watch Tom and Jerry.










A drunkard from Burton-on-Trent

[Galfon]

would sleep at the pub in his tent

[francoisfou]

But he was swiftly ejected..

[Galfon]

the ground disinfected..

[francoisfou]

And slowly made his way - down to Kent.






He'd got as far as Watford Gap..

[Galfon]

where he let rip at the local Tap

[francoisfou]

Sling yer ‘ook, he was told..

[Galfon]

in a tight stranglehold..

[francoisfou]

By a woman in an old flat cap.