Wales vs England - minute-by-minute

[16th man]

It really was like England's half time was a 15 minute long bollocking for not kicking enough.

Really hoping that subbing Genge at 55 has been about keeping legs fresh for the next couple of weeks and we won't be feeding Mako to the French and Irish scrums for 25 minutes a go.

[Mikey Brown]

It really was like England's half time was a 15 minute long bollocking for not kicking enough.

Really hoping that subbing Genge at 55 has been about keeping legs fresh for the next couple of weeks and we won't be feeding Mako to the French and Irish scrums for 25 minutes a go.

Or… it’s been about warming Mako up for a start against France - to prove his quality after getting minced by SA (again).

The bonus would be we’d get Genge on the bench and everyone can keep saying ‘bomb squad’ every 4 minutes.

[FKAS]

It really was like England's half time was a 15 minute long bollocking for not kicking enough.

I think we got a bit jittery after the LRZ interception try and fell back onto the safety first game plan. It didn't help that we were reliant on JVP to inject attacking impetus and he looked knackered a good 10 mins before he was actually subbed.

[Puja]

Minute 61: The scrum folds together too early and this time Raynal gives the free-kick to England, which he then upgrades to a penalty for repeated offences. It might be the fact that it's taken me two weeks to get this m-b-m done, but I don't remember many early engagements getting pinned on Wales, so this feels harsh, especially since Farrell is bound to score this regulation penalty to put us 8 points up.

Minute 62: [Shocked Pikachu face] The Iceman misses quite badly - the ball starting wide and staying there. It wasn't a gimme, but 40m out and 15m in is basic training ground fodder. Ford and Smith slot those for fun.

Minute 63: Biggar decides to kick rather than take the drop-out and finds Dombrandt 45m out. He runs up, not at full tilt, and then fails to either pass to Lawrence (who was away down the wing) or accelerate into contact. Another example of him being just *fine* rather than actively good.

Still, it's decent ball and JVP passes out for... oh fucking hell it's MakoV on the carry again. Once more he hits the first line of defence, makes absolutely no impact and is turned over after our cleaners are taken out by falling Welsh bodies (BCurry should probably have done better to secure that even so). Literally useless substitution.

Minute 64: Wales have kicked down to the edge of England's 22, but muff the lineout with a near overthrow that Tipuric just gets a fingertip to drag it back. It lands in Welsh hands and they try to launch an attack, but to call them unthreatening would be an understatement. They end up back behind the halfway line in 4 phases and it's not really because England are putting up amazing defence or anything.

Biggar puts up a gorgeous high bomb right to the touchline and, while JVP beats Grady to it, he can't hold onto it and Wales get a scrum.

Minute 65: Dan Cole is on, speaking of useless substitutes, although he does still get some leeway for being last tighthead standing.

Wales make a quick hook and get the ball away, although I can't say they were under any particular pressure at the scrum. They send Grady on a crash towards the 10 channel, but JVP puts in a great side chop tackle and then Ben Curry is in, lightning quick, to reef the ball back to England's side. Dombrandt puts it back to Farrell and, while I can't call this a KADAB due to it being on the 22, we have a 4-on-2 if we pass it wide (or even kick it to that side), but Fazlet just leathers it up the centre of the pitch.

[Puja]

Minute 66: The ball bounces kindly for Halfpenny and he has time to turn and send it back from whence it came. Farrell takes and puts up a high ball that is too long to compete for, however Steward meets Biggar, lifts his leg and drives him back 5m in a very satisfying play. Wales keep the ball though, do a OneCarryThenCaterpillar/BoxKick directly to Steward. Nearly works this time though - Biggar tackles him and Reffell is in over the ball. I have no idea how that's not a Welsh penalty, but it isn't for some reason and England can OCTC/BK themselves.

Minute 67: It's too long from JVP, but not so much that Wales can do anything with it and a ruck is formed. They do take us a bit by surprise though, cause I think we were expecting yet another OCTC/BK (I'd already started typing it myself) and instead we're very short on the blind side so Wales use their hands and make a good few metres. Wales go again and BCurry rushes up - it'll go down as a missed tackle, but it was a good choice to hurry Tipuric and it sets him up for Vunipola to chop down (a useful contribution, yaay!) and Ludlam to compete and slow the ball down, killing the counterattack.

Ball goes back to Biggar who puts up a midfield bomb, which Slade does well to take. Once again, Wales are hard done by with the referee - they drive over and are prevented from a turnover by blatant hands on the floor - but England get it back to Farrell in the pocket. He kicks, presumably looking for touch, but it's a terrible decision/technique, as Rees-Zammit is there and waiting for it and catches with 20m of space in front of him. Our defensive line is excellent though and a double tackle from Ludlam and MakoV (two! two contributions!) bring him down. TWilliams is missing in action and it takes Wales a second to realise this, resulting in very slow ball.

Minute 68: As such, it's a OCTC/BK. Making that acronym is already making this recap go faster and I suspect it'll only get more useful as time wears on. This time, it's a much better kick and Biggar gets up in front of Steward to slap the ball back. Wales pass it wide and Slade charges up to try and take Tompkins man-and-ball. He gets there, but shows terrible upright tackle technique and just ends up getting dismissed by Tompkins, who can then run towards the defensive line that's just been disarranged by the charge and put Hawkins through a half-gap.

Wales keep the ball alive with offloads (although we put in some great low tackles to stop people on the charge - an effort from Farrell on Faletau deserving special praise), but it's very harem-scarem and they go back through loose passes as much as they go forward. They get it together and go wide, but England have them numbered up and it's all looking very comfortable.

Minute 69: More good defence, including a belting tackle from BCurry and Wales are going backwards from pressure. Hawkins engages in a kick through, which JVP fields comfortably, but then slices his clearance kick so it goes straight into touch, giving Wales a thoroughly unearned lineout just outside the 22. Unlucky there from England - that defensive set deserved more.

Lots of dead time as first there are injuries, then there are subs (Lawes making his triumphant return for Dombrandt), then there is Raynal being a pedant about the lineout positioning. Time is off though, so it's still minute 69 as we get a closeup of the sub Welsh hooker, who is engaging having ginger, curly hair and making the active choice to grow both a mullet and a moustache. Certainly some kind of a decision you've made there sir.

Anyway, Raynal eventually calls time back on, and Wales go instantly, getting the ball in and out of the lineout for Hawkins to crash up. It's quick ball with forward momentum and Wales go further with a good tip on to Faletau on the burst. The next phase sees Itoje timing a rush out of defence and putting in a solid contact on the Welsh forward as soon as he gets the ball. Neither side goes backwards, but it's slowed everything down for just a second to let England arrange themselves, and the next three phases are England coping comfortably with the Welsh attack.

Minute 70: Wales keep trying, but an optimistic pass by Hardy reaches no-one and bounces kindly for Lawrence who bursts through the middle. Tompkins does a phenomenal job of just holding onto enough of his shirt tails to slow him and eventually drag him down. I want to criticise Lawrence for once again holding the ball under one arm and leaving himself unable to make the offload as he's tackled, but in fairness Slade's positioning wasn't great and made it a very difficult pass under the best of circumstances, so it's probably for the best that he takes the tackle. England are slow to clear out and Tompkins is on his feet and jackalling - it's given as a no clear release penalty to England, but I have definitely seen those given the other way.

I can only assume JVP doesn't hear the ref give advantage, as he doesn't look at getting the ball out to the backs to attack the retreating Welsh defence and instead just sends a poorly-aimed box-kick downfield that bounces into touch in goal rather than for the 50:22 that I think he was aiming for. Bizarrely, Raynal decides that this constitutes penalty advantage over and refutes Slade's query about why they're not going back for the pen on the halfway line with, "No, it's fine, it's advantage over". Good thing we weren't 2 points down and desperately needing that penalty goal. Not that Farrell would be able to kick it, mind.

[Puja]

Minute 71: Wales deliver the drop-out up to where the penalty was given, although I suppose England do have a 30m runup to the nearest Welshman. We don't use it though - languid gather and pass back to Farrell, who sets up the !SPIRAL BOMB! It doesn't look like a great decision, as the majority of our team are in front of the ball and unable to chase, plus the kick is landing way too far ahead for anyone to contest. However, the power of the !SPIRAL BOMB! is not to be denied and the swirl defeats Halfpenny who gets in the wrong position and fumbles it as it drops sooner than he expected.

England now have the ball in the Welsh 22, so maybe Raynal knew what he was talking about with that weird advantage decision after all? He then manages to get involved by nearly intercepting a pass from Van Poortvliet and it should probably come back for the scrum, but England recover and get the ball wide to Malins on the right wing, through nice hands from BCurry and Lawes. Malins has a good burst and beats one with a step before being brought down 4m out.

We play quick ball and it's bloody Mako Vunipola at first receiver again, but this time he passes to George, who at least makes half a yard and lays the ball back. Wales attempt to rush up on Slade, but he makes the right call for a long deep pass to Lawrence to bypass the rush defence. Lawrence has to wait for it, inviting LRZ to rush up onto him, but he makes a fantastic pass as soon as he receives it, to set Steward away down the left wing. He's got space but the entire Welsh cover is coming across, so he stays away from the touchline and drives us back up to the 5m line. Itoje carries well, before Ludlam bursts through two tackles to get up to within 2 metres, but some poor rucking by Chessum, combined with excellent work by Tipuric sees Wales win a turnover that they badly needed.

Minute 72: Jiffy is chuntering on in commentary that England should've gone for the drop-goal there, which seems bananas considering we were probably only a phase away from a try. Slow motion replay shows that I have unfairly maligned Chessum - it was actually Lawes who missed the initial clearout, although Chessum could still have had more awareness of where he was needed when entering the ruck instead of just piling in behind Lawes. It was phenomenal work by Tipuric as well.

Minute 73: Wales have kicked down to their 10m line, but GingerCurls McMulletMoustache overthrows the lineout and it bounces nicely for BCurry in midfield who carries well. Wales are massively short on the right and attempt to rescue this by charging up on Farrell and Lawrence, but Fazlet pulls off an excellent left-to-right mispass as soon as the ball hits his hands, which sets Slade away. It's a 3-on-2, with Steward coming at pace on his wing - all Slade has to do is make a simple pass and it's a 2-on-1 and pretty much guaranteed try.

Kicking Away Decent Attacking Ball: Slade x2, JVP x1, Farrell x1

This one is almost as bad as the Farrell one against Italy. Just pass. Not even a difficult pass. Just pass. The kick through dribbles into touch 5m out, so it's not a complete loss, but it's painful to watch.

Mitchell is on for 7 minutes to show what he can do. Wales take the lineout uncontested and set a good maul, driving 5-6m forwards before Hardy box-kicks away. I mean, I say away, but it's mishit and goes high without going very long. Malins runs onto it and takes a good catch, just outside the 22. We reset and Cole shows Mako how it's done with a little dent made in the defence from a carry.

Minute 74: After being shown how it works, Mako then carries with a bit of venom - doesn't make much ground, but at least enough that we're not actively going backwards. We run another couple of carries - Wales are coping with our attack, but our carries are always at least knocking someone down and getting enough forward momentum for us to at least gain back the ground lost from passes. Mitchell is getting to the breakdowns quickly and providing very good, simple service from the base. We go through 10 or so phases, making ground in small increments until we are 10m out. Some great play by Farrell, BCurry, Ludlam, Itoje - just top team play and Wales are never getting anywhere near slowing our ruck ball.

Minute 75: After 12 phases of stand and deliver service, Mitchell sees something and picks and runs sideways. It draws in two Welsh defenders and he waits until they're fully committed before sending Slade through the hole he's just opened. It looks like Slade must score, but a belting tackle by Halfpenny stops him just short of the line. Itoje is first there to clear the ruck, Chessum is behind to secure it, quick ball for Mitchell to get to Steward who's come around the blind side. It's a 2-on-1 and the Welsh defender rushes him, but Steward gets the ball in and out of his hands quickly enough to put Lawrence in at the corner. Excellent try.

[FKAS]

This is the period in the game where I think JVP is blowing. He was everywhere in the first 50 mins it was bound to take it's toll and most scrum halfs don't play more than 60 mins.

He was unlucky with the bounce on the 50/22 attempt. It bounces the right way and it's a great attacking platform for England, given the normal advantages awarded by refs it would have been a shit to nothing as they'd have come back for the penalty for Farrell to miss at goal or kick to touch.

[Puja]

Minute 76: It's a tough conversion from the touchline, but frankly that never even flirted with the posts. Rank off the boot by Farrell. "Just a little bit loose from the tee today from Farrell" says commentary, describing his 33% success rate.

I will remain on my hobby-horse - Lawrence grounds that try one-handed and it's completely unnecessary. Far easier and far less risky to use both hands there and, while it looked cool, he'd've looked all the dicks of the day if it'd slipped or been knocked loose.

Minute 77: Wales kick-off to compete, but don't compete very well, albeit Itoje's in a solid lifting pod and was probably untouchable anyway. Mitchell box-kicks and it's another very good one - Malins comes around the wall of Welsh to compete again and is unlucky to fumble it on rather than take a clean catch.

Minute 78: We just about get a scrum this minute - lots of faffing about and a reset, but it's stable with the ball at Faletau's feet by the time the minute ticks over.

Minute 79: Hardy is looking to the ref for a penalty or reset, but Raynal's as tired as we all are and tells him to use it. Wales go blind and then open, getting very little change out of the English defence. Itoje makes a good decision not to compete when Lawrence is trapped in - it's been another strong performance from him. Not eyecatching, but solid all around. Not really a lot to say about this minute - Wales are attacking, but England just look very comfortable in defence.

Minute 80: Tompkins runs into Farrell who gets underneath him and holds him up in a choke tackle. It's a slightly early call of maul from the ref, but it's probably just about fair. Slade and Itoje pile in and it's an England scrum.

LOOK OUT EVERYONE! Jack Walker, Marcus Smith, and Henry Arundell are here to change the game! We all asked for Smith to replace Farrell and have his chance with Lawrence/Slade and here it is! LET'S GO!!!

Minute 81: Walker earns his appearance bonus by hooking the ball back and, although the scrum collapses, Raynal says to play away. The ball goes out to Smi... oh. Slade's standing at 10. Poor Marcus, still the out the back option even with Farrell off. It does go to him though - a good dummy line from Lawrence has disarranged the Welsh defence to leave us with a 4-on-3. If Smith puts it through the hands, then you'd say it should go down the line to Arundell in space for a probable try, however Marcus thinks he sees a gap inside and tries to jink himself. The gap only exists in his mind though and the chance goes begging. Poor play.

We do recycle and there is space still on the left - Steward's rushed pass under pressure is behind Arundell though, so he has to stop and turn to get it. As such, he can't quite burn Tompkins on the outside and is shepherded tamely into touch.

There we are then. That was... an experience. Wasn't quite as bad as you all had led me to believe, but it certainly did have a lot of box-kicks. Until next time.

Puja

[Banquo]

surprised at how relatively (compared to Italy and Scotland) few kadabs there were (compared to memory, still too many), but then again a- I was a bit pi55ed watching in a pub, and b- there were a lot of other kicks -shyte (Faz) and good (JVP).

Thanks a lot Puja!

[Danno]

Cheers Puja

"Certainly some kind of a decision you've made there sir."

[Mr Mwenda]

Interesting as ever. Confirms my cynicism about Lawrence as the anointed one* and my pessimism about Slade. Pleased Dombrandt is finding his feet albeit slowly.

*To preempt confusion, i want him to be persisted with but I worry that France or Ireland in particular will see something they can have fun with...

[Banquo]

Interesting as ever. Confirms my cynicism about Lawrence as the anointed one* and my pessimism about Slade. Pleased Dombrandt is finding his feet albeit slowly.

*To preempt confusion, i want him to be persisted with but I worry that France or Ireland in particular will see something they can have fun with...

Problem is that Puja is doing all he can to unseat the new messiah lest his chosen 12 fails to be recognised as the world class player he is, albeit hidden under a robotic shambles of fierceness and test match animalism.

[Mikey Brown]

Enjoyed that aside from being reminded of Ben Kay with "the stand and deliver". It at least makes sense for a scrum-half and not a player who is clearly running, as he usually uses it.

[Puja]

Interesting as ever. Confirms my cynicism about Lawrence as the anointed one* and my pessimism about Slade. Pleased Dombrandt is finding his feet albeit slowly.

*To preempt confusion, i want him to be persisted with but I worry that France or Ireland in particular will see something they can have fun with...

Problem is that Puja is doing all he can to unseat the new messiah lest his chosen 12 fails to be recognised as the world class player he is, albeit hidden under a robotic shambles of fierceness and test match animalism.

You know, I've got the ability to ban you. I think. Somewhere. This board's software is very confusing.

Puja

[Puja]

Enjoyed that aside from being reminded of Ben Kay with "the stand and deliver". It at least makes sense for a scrum-half and not a player who is clearly running, as he usually uses it.

Oof, I knew that turn of phrase rang an unpleasant bell, but I couldn't remember where from.

Puja

[Greebo]

Thanks Puja, always interesting. The second half seemed better than I remembered it.

[Danno]

If you're ever bored in the off season Puja I wouldn't say no to a MBM of stuff like like the 2003/2015/2019 final, Japan in the 2019 pool games, that sorta thing.

Or some rewatch parties on Discord

[Puja]

If you're ever bored in the off season Puja I wouldn't say no to a MBM of stuff like like the 2003/2015/2019 final, Japan in the 2019 pool games, that sorta thing.

Or some rewatch parties on Discord

We did actually have some rewatch parties of the 2002 AIs over the first lockdown, which were quite good fun. Unlikely to do m-b-ms for anything other than current matches, but there are historic ones on here going back at least as far as 2019 - here's the semi against NZ if you're looking for a fix to tide you over till Saturday: viewtopic.php?t=4087

For some unknown reason, I never did the final. Don't think I could face it, even now.

Puja

[Danno]

If you're ever bored in the off season Puja I wouldn't say no to a MBM of stuff like like the 2003/2015/2019 final, Japan in the 2019 pool games, that sorta thing.

Or some rewatch parties on Discord

We did actually have some rewatch parties of the 2002 AIs over the first lockdown, which were quite good fun. Unlikely to do m-b-ms for anything other than current matches, but there are historic ones on here going back at least as far as 2019 - here's the semi against NZ if you're looking for a fix to tide you over till Saturday: viewtopic.php?t=4087

For some unknown reason, I never did the final. Don't think I could face it, even now.

Puja

I think you would would be well within your rights to strike anyone that asked you to.

[Mr Mwenda]

The world cup final would be easy to do:

Minute #1 SA smash someone, senior England player [insert number] in key position soils himself.

Minute #2 SA smash someone, senior England player in key position soils himself.

Repeat as required and add mention of Kolbe.

[Puja]

Charlie Morgan analysis of Eng vs Wales, which I swear I didn't read before doing the m-b-m as he makes a lot of the same bits of analysis as me, only with gifs: https://www.telegraph.co.uk/rugby-union ... arlequins/

Puja

[Banquo]

Charlie Morgan analysis of Eng vs Wales, which I swear I didn't read before doing the m-b-m as he makes a lot of the same bits of analysis as me, only with gifs: https://www.telegraph.co.uk/rugby-union ... arlequins/

Puja

Good work- you could save the telegraph some money

[Mellsblue]

Charlie Morgan analysis of Eng vs Wales, which I swear I didn't read before doing the m-b-m as he makes a lot of the same bits of analysis as me, only with gifs: https://www.telegraph.co.uk/rugby-union ... arlequins/

Puja

Good work- you could save the telegraph some money

What would twitchy post?

[FKAS]

Charlie Morgan analysis of Eng vs Wales, which I swear I didn't read before doing the m-b-m as he makes a lot of the same bits of analysis as me, only with gifs: https://www.telegraph.co.uk/rugby-union ... arlequins/

Puja

It all points to stuff slowly getting better. Optimism is building which probably isn't a good thing before we play France and Ireland...