Brexit gags

[Lizard]

Despite the turmoil, you do have to appreciate the British sense of humour, which often finds its pinnacle during the darkest hours.

This bloke, for instance, should get an MBE or something:

http://m.nzherald.co.nz/world/news/arti ... ref=NZH_Tw

So this thread is for the lighter side of Brexit and related chaos. Any serious stuff can go on other threads.

[Mellsblue]

.

[Stones of granite]

As usual, Donald J Trump has some innovative solutions for the immigration "problem".

[Len]

http://fusion.net/story/318640/delete-your-golf-course/

[Lizard]

John Oliver sums up the aftermath

[Donny osmond]

Sent from my XT1052 using Tapatalk

[Donny osmond]

https://youtu.be/-a6HNXtdvVQ

Sent from my XT1052 using Tapatalk

[Mellsblue]

[Lizard]

I'm not normally one to link to click bait but some of this is quite good:

https://www.buzzfeed.com/alanwhite/then ... vrEjGW7NXG

[Stones of granite]

Stolen from Facebook


"How did you vote?", asked Pooh
"Leave", said Piglet
"Oh, for fuck's sake", said Pooh, "Why the fuck did you do that?"

"Because if we leave, then we'll fix the NHS"
"We're not going to fix the NHS, Piglet, that was all bollocks. All the people who told you to vote Leave are the very same people who want to privatise the fucking thing"
"Oh. But anyway there's also those bloody Heffalumps"
"Heffalumps?"
"Yes, the bloody Heffalumps who keep coming to live in the wood, there are too many"
"But they do things for us, Piglet, and voting Leave won't actually stop them coming anyway"
"Oh. But I just want to get back control of the wood"
"You fucktard. You never had control of the wood, you're a fucking piglet. You're just going to get even more fucked over by different people"
"Oh. But why did you want to Remain?", asked Piglet
"I liked that everyone worked together, I felt safe"
"Is that all? You're probably still safe"
"I also fancied going to live in a different wood one day, and maybe if I had kids they would too, but now maybe we can't."
"Oh. But we'll have more honey to go around now...?"
"I'm afraid not, Piglet. We won't have to give away any honey, but there'll almost certainly be less to begin with"
"Oh. Well at least we've got rid of the pig-fucker, I didn't like him"
"I can understand that, Piglet, but have you seen the next guy!? I have a feeling he'll be doing more than just oral"
"Oh my. But they were going to build a huge scary super-wood"
"They never actually said that, and even if there were going to be a huge super-wood, would you rather be part of it, playing with all your new friends, or just outside it with nobody paying you any attention?"
"Oh, I see what you mean. But ours used to be the most important wood of all the woods"
"That's true, Piglet, but that was well over a hundred fucking years ago now, and none of us were alive. You really need to get your head out of your arse"
"But our grandparents won the big war to protect our wood, we need to make sure we keep it safe"
"Actually, that's a load of horse-shit. We won the big war to protect other people in other woods and to stop nationalist fuckers killing people because they were different. It showed that we're safer if we all work together and stop thinking of each other as different"
"But the Heffalumps, I don't like them, they're not like us"
"Fuck my luck. Piglet, you're a fucking Piglet and I'm a stuffed Bear. We're all different, that's what makes the wood a fun place to live. You like Kanga don't you? She's different"
"But Kanga's been here for ages and I like her food"
"Christ on a bike, Piglet, you are a fucking cockwomble"
"Beer?" asked Piglet
"You're buying" said Pooh, "and I want pork scratchings"
"Oh my"

[Banquo]

Benjamin Timothy Blaine has tried to sum up the post-Brexit Britain and it’s well worth a read – people are enjoying it too – with over 11,000 shares so far:


So, let me get this straight… the leader of the opposition campaigned to stay but secretly wanted to leave, so his party held a non-binding vote to shame him into resigning so someone else could lead the campaign to ignore the result of the non-binding referendum which many people now think was just angry people trying to shame politicians into seeing they’d all done nothing to help them.

Meanwhile, the man who campaigned to leave because he hoped losing would help him win the leadership of his party, accidentally won and ruined any chance of leading because the man who thought he couldn’t lose, did – but resigned before actually doing the thing the vote had been about. The man who’d always thought he’d lead next, campaigned so badly that everyone thought he was lying when he said the economy would crash – and he was, but it did, but he’s not resigned, but, like the man who lost and the man who won, also now can’t become leader. Which means the woman who quietly campaigned to stay but always said she wanted to leave is likely to become leader instead.



Which means she holds the same view as the leader of the opposition but for opposite reasons, but her party’s view of this view is the opposite of the opposition’s. And the opposition aren’t yet opposing anything because the leader isn’t listening to his party, who aren’t listening to the country, who aren’t listening to experts or possibly paying that much attention at all. However, none of their opponents actually want to be the one to do the thing that the vote was about, so there’s not yet anything actually on the table to oppose anyway. And if no one ever does do the thing that most people asked them to do, it will be undemocratic and if any one ever does do it, it will be awful.

Clear?

[Edinburgh in Exile]

I'm loathed to link this, but lizard started it, and besides its fairly amusing.

It's a lot of phonetic spelling If you are struggling to read any of it, just read it out loud, the way you would Irvine Welsh.

https://www.buzzfeed.com/hilarywardle/s ... .qkBN8WaDa

[Stones of granite]

I'm loathed to link this, but lizard started it, and besides its fairly amusing.

It's a lot of phonetic spelling If you are struggling to read any of it, just read it out loud, the way you would Irvine Welsh.

https://www.buzzfeed.com/hilarywardle/s ... .qkBN8WaDa

6. It's definitely 6.

[Edinburgh in Exile]

I'm loathed to link this, but lizard started it, and besides its fairly amusing.

It's a lot of phonetic spelling If you are struggling to read any of it, just read it out loud, the way you would Irvine Welsh.

https://www.buzzfeed.com/hilarywardle/s ... .qkBN8WaDa

6. It's definitely 6.

Aye, that made me laugh, that and 14's massive rant about England and Wales bringing ket to an empty.

[WiganShark]

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/politics/ ... 0104104993

[kk67]

I'm loathed to link this, but lizard started it, and besides its fairly amusing.

It's a lot of phonetic spelling If you are struggling to read any of it, just read it out loud, the way you would Irvine Welsh.

https://www.buzzfeed.com/hilarywardle/s ... .qkBN8WaDa

Ah, the old days of RR when a simple 'Racist' would have sufficed as a quality post.

[UGagain]

[rowan]

[Which Tyler]