England vs Australia - an extremely condensed minute-by-minute

[Puja]

Let's see how much of this I can get done if I concentrate on keeping everything to a minimum and not commenting on every detail, hopefully I can get a bare bones one done for y'all.

Puja

[Puja]

Minute 1: We just about take the kick-off, although Suaalii gets a hand to it. A pinpoint box-kick from Mitchell leads to IFW burying the catcher and very nearly creating a turnover by driving over. Unfortunately Australia win it back, kick it upfield and Steward spills his first high ball under pressure.

Minute 2: Scrum is solid and Australia send Paisami at Ford - he loses ground, but brings him down and is targeting the ball for a rip, which I remember being a very funny turnover later.

Minute 3: Australia going nowhere, so Potter puts in a belting kick down the 5m channel. IFW does a great job to clear it up and Amashukeli gives us a marginal, but probably correct call for a penalty.

Minute 4: Decent movement in the lineout and clean ball, but Ford has no interest in playing and instead puts up a high ball. Edmed takes the first of several... actually, I know I'm doing an abbreviated one, but let's have a counter anyway: Tane Edmed gets utterly ruined: Earl x1. We ruck over and it's a pen that we kick for the corner.

Minute 5: We play off the back of the lineout and there's some excellent hard running lines and offloads that stress the Australian defence. Ford calls for the ball and puts in an absolutely pinpoint perfect cross-field to IFW. Kellaway does well to get there, but he can only get one hand to it and IFW has run and leapt higher, so all he can do is slap it backwards before it lands in IFW's arms for the score. Make no mistake, this is a stonewall, 100% penalty try and, frankly, I think it's an error from England not to've complained more vociferously and angled for it to go to the TMO, cause I think if it does, it's 7 points and Kellaway gets a sitdown for 10 minutes.

Minute 6: Our penalty for a lineout offence and we have another 5m lineout. Australia do well to compete and spoil our ball and then put in some phenomenal defensive work, but then give away what should be a penalty try again - Joe Heyes is held up just before grounding the ball, by a tackler that never got back onside. Surely the definition of a try probably being scored without the offence?

Minute 7: Tap and go, but Heyes is held up oddddddddddddddddddddddddddccccccccccccccccdver the line again. Incredible defence by Australia. We looked destined to score and they somehow held us out (with the help of not being pinged for 2 penalty tries, granted).

Minute 8: Steward does a very average job with his kick return, not really drawing anyone and then feeding Freeman into a mincer. Thankfully Australia can't take advantage of the broken field play and we win a turnover.

Minute 9: Off the top from the lineout, nice little offload from Dingwall to put Freeman through a half-gap, but Earl puts in the most blatant side-entry you've ever seen and everyone has a little smirk as England are pinged for the thing they told the ref to look out for.

Minute 10: Australia get a minute of attacking, but our defence is solid and organised - good destructive tackles from George and Underhill.

[Puja]

Minute 11: High ball and Steward once again can't gather. Knock-on and we fail to scrum for the minute.

Minute 12: England get a little drive on at the Australian scrum and Mitchell gets away with a deliberate knock on as Australia look to rescue it with an 8-pick. We have a bit of a play with the loose ball and make a nice run down the left, but the TMO comes back for the knock-on, so more scrum

Minute 13 & 14: Australia secure the scrum by dropping the front row and playing from the collapse and look dangerous with some big runners at isolated backs. After a couple of phases, our defence organises and we push them back until Roebuck makes and interception. Sadly, Dingwall's tackled as he kicks it and Australia regather the ball, now 40m out.

Minute 15 & 16: Another high ball, another one that Steward doesn't take. His positioning's off, cause he's not running onto it to jump. Gets knocked into touch though, so we win the lineout (nice use of Pepper at the front) and another high ball results in Tane Edmed gets utterly ruined: Earl x1, Roebuck x1. Another attacking box-kick by Australia, but Steward does run onto this one - not a clean catch, but tapped back to Ford, so we'll count that as a win. We spread it wide and Freeman counters with IFW on his shoulder - it's a draw and give moment, but he dummies and attacks the inside shoulder of the defender, which slows him enough that he's hauled down. IFW doing a phenomenal job there of not venting his spleen at having been denied a free run to have a one-on-one with the full-back.

Minute 16: Quick ball and Earl has picked a gorgeous line at full tilt which could be a full-break, but he doesn't catch the pass and so Australia get the ball back. They run Paisami at Ford again, who again gives up 2m for a completed tackle and a go at stripping the ball. High kick and IFW catches, steps the initial tackler like a matador, then goes on a blistering run including another step to make a forward look like all the pricks of the day. Unfortunately spoiled at the end, cause he reckons he can beat one more defender instead of passing to Mitchell who is clear on the outside and, by the time he's being tackled and does try the pass, it's intercepted by Australia. Feels like two butchered tries in a row by greedy wingers.

Minute 17-19: Itoje charges down a box-kick, but unfortunately has no idea where the ball bounces, so we miss out on a 40m lock try. We show some more good defence and excellent tackling so Australia kick it away. Ford puts up a great high ball that Steward chases, but Edmed shows him how to take a contested high ball. Unfortunately he's met by George, Chessum, and Underhill, who effect the turnover penalty.

Minute 20: Ford knocks over the pen and it's 3-0 to the good guys. Frankly, should be 14-0 or more.

[Which Tyler]

Thank you Puja

[Scrumhead]

Thanks for doing this Puja. Always a good read.

[Puja]

Minute 7: Tap and go, but Heyes is held up oddddddddddddddddddddddddddccccccccccccccccdver the line again. Incredible defence by Australia. We looked destined to score and they somehow held us out (with the help of not being pinged for 2 penalty tries, granted).

Phew, I think I got away scot-free with being half-asleep when I posted this m-b-m. Not a single hint to be found.

ETA. Aw hells. Looks like I accidently ctrl-xed minutes 20-30 without ctrl-ving them into here in my sleep-deprived state. Sod.

Puja

[FKAS]

"Minute 8: Steward does a very average job with his kick return, not really drawing anyone and then feeding Freeman into a mincer. Thankfully Australia can't take advantage of the broken field play and we win a turnover."

I remember this particularly painful play. Steward looking desperately for some support, the team either offside or hanging back. Freeman eventually turns up after Steward has already slowed down to wait for a teammate. Horrible lack of cohesion, Freddie should have just sent it up and chased it when he realised nobody was interested in the counter attack. Then again he started off so nervous and trying to cover everything he'd have probably not caught the up and under anyway.

[Puja]

Minute 21: We make it immediately better. Mitchell hangs a terrific box-kick from the restart, which Roebuck can run and jump onto without breaking stride. He picks Suaalii's pocket in midair, lands, continues running and then fixes Kellaway before popping to Underhill who is right on his shoulder. Underhill has a clear field in front of him, but unselfishly passes on to Earl who is coming up like a train on his shoulder, and Earl burns off the cover to go over untouched.

Underhill deserves more praise for that decision-making, by the way. He's got open field and could easily have run himself and gained 40m before the cover got to him and I don't think many people would've blamed him for that choice. He also could've run for a bit himself before passing to Earl, which also would've killed the try. Instead, he makes the right decision instantly and gets us 7 point for it.

Minute 22: Ford knocks over the easy conversion. 10-0 and much more representative of the run of play.

Minute 23 & 24: We nearly repeat the dose as Roebuck taps back another box-kick, but the bounce of a rugby ball always hates you and Australia have it back. Pepper does well to drag down Tupou's run against a dishevelled defence, but gets very harshly penalised when he competes. Australia try to do something with the advantage, but Paisami gets ended in midfield by a Pepper/Baxter combo and we go back for the pen. Aus kick for the corner.

Minute 25-28: Australia win the lineout and attack for several phases, but our defence is very good. Highlight of these phases is Ford charging up and smashing Tupou, nearly knocking him into touch - I think he was felled as much by the audacity as he was by the actual impact! Itoje blots his copybook by going for a jackal when it's not really on and the confusion over the referee's shouts gives an Australian a chance to go for the line. George does an incredible job to bring him down and get under the ball to hold him up, so back for the pen, which goes to the corner again.

Itoje redeems himself from the lineout by making an absolute nuisance of himself in Australia's maul and we get the scrum from the collapse. Australia try to go hard at the scrum and we make sure the ref is very aware and get rewarded with an early shove free-kick.

Minute 29: Australia go off the top of the lineout and we channel the spirit of Felix Jones in going for a full blitz. Australia are unprepared, Paisami spills the ball backwards under pressure, Feyi-Waboso drives Potter backwards as he regathers the loose ball, and then Suaalii gets smashed behind the gainline by Dingwall as he tries to be clever. Australia have lost 30m of territory and the ball is flung out to Wilson who is 1m from the touchline and about to be smashed over it, so instead he puts his boot through the ball and accidentally hits the cleanest contact he will ever make in his life. The ball flies 40m down the narrowest tramline, bounces once just 2m inside the field of play, and goes into touch. Lucky sod, although it is ameliorated by the ball not quite going for a 50:22. Still, he could make that kick a thousand times and not get that good a result ever again.

Minute 30: We win the lineout and send Ben Earl running into traffic, smashing through some solid tackles to make ground. Handy reminder to us all that momentum is mass x velocity - you can make just as big of an impact in tight spaces by sending a smaller body faster. Mitchell's box-kick is too long to make the Edmed-counter go up, but Wilson discovers the concept of regression to the mean by following up his kick with a drop of a exceedingly simple pass, so it's an England scrum.

[Puja]

Minute 31: Bit of an unstable scrum for us, but Mitchell gets the ball away and we attack left. Once again, IFW will be fuming - if Freeman were to get the ball in and out of his hands, then he once again has a one-on-one against the covering full-back which he's back himself to win, but Freeman doesn't go for it. It'd need to be a fairly slick pass, but I don't know Freeman is even thinking of it, as the ball goes straight underneath one arm to run himself.

It is quick ball, Ford fixes the defence, draws and gives a little pop pass, and Earl is charging through a gap. He's seemingly destined to score... until Potter gets across and somehow wraps himself around the ball to stop it from being grounded. That was painful - looked a certain try, but great defence from Potter.

Minute 32: We attack from the drop-out restart, but don't do too much with it. Ford puts up a cross-kick, but it's too long and Australia can claim with ease.

Minute 33: We attack nicely, even passing to Feyi-Waboso once! A word to note how well Mitchell's doing and how slick his service has been today. A lovely double offload from Ford and Earl sees Steward round the outside of the Australian defence - he has Pepper outside him who could have a sprint to the corner against the cover defence, but Steward decides that the higher percentage play is to turn inside and run hard so the ball can be recycled and the attack continue. It's 50:50 - Pepper would probably have made it if the pass went, but if he didn't, then it's a turnover.

Minute 34: Steward's gamble doesn't pay off. England attack really well with quick ball and hard runners, but Dingwall calls for the ball down the blind, where Australia end up being numbered up, and then tries to force the miss-pass to Steward instead of accepting a try won't be scored on this phase and letting Earl crash it up. Potter is already in the passing lane, takes the gift, and runs 95m for a thoroughly undeserved 10-7 scoreline. It's a set of bad errors from Dingwall, first the call to go blind, then trying to force it, but he has otherwise been excellent so far, so we'll grudgingly forgive him.

Minute 35: Replays show that I'm being kind to Steward - that pass to Pepper should 100% have gone. We should very easily have had 4 tries by now - one of the penalty tries/Heyes being held up twice, Freeman and IFW not giving a scoring pass, Earl being held up/Steward not giving a scoring pass. Work to be done in training, but understandable with the rushed buildup and new attack coach.

Minute 36-38: Edmed tries a neat little chip kick out of his 22 and more proof that the bounce of a rugby ball always hates you, as a sweeping Ford looks to have it covered only for it to kick up and bounce back over his head. Good tackle by Steward and Mitchell knocks the ball loose and it's an England scrum.

We go to the backs from the scrum and it's a really nice play using IFW as a dummy runner before Ford makes a late pass (getting smashed for his troubles) to open up space. However, Dingwall looks to run and fix the man rather than making an early pass which would've seen Freeman and Roebuck with a 2-on-2 in space, and by the time he looks to pass, Steward has got himself entirely in the wrong position and is blocking it. Absolute muddle and a chance wasted. We get smashed twice in a row from the next two phases and lose the ball in contact.

Minute 39-40: We fail to scrum and Amashukeli gets annoyed and eventually gives an Aus free-kick. They take a quick tap and run, with possible space on the outside, but it's abruptly stopped as Tane Edmed gets utterly ruined: Earl x1, Roebuck x1, Underhill x1.

What an absolutely gorgeous tackle that was! Head on the wrong side, but otherwise textbook perfect side-on tackle to the midriff, driving him down and backwards. Australia try to do something with the ball and nearly get outside us as Roebuck rushes up, but Freeman covers behind and Australia lose the ball as they try not to go into touch. Ford picks it up and puts in a stunner of a grubber, rolling end-over-end down the 5m channel, but unfortunately going just a bit too far and Australia just get across to touch it down in goal before Roebuck can get there.

Minute 41: Edmed attempts to be clever and just grubber the goalline dropout into touch to make halftime, but Baxter has read it incredibly quickly and sprints into the space to intercept it before it goes out. Unfortunately, none of his teammates are on his wavelength, so he's left alone against 3 Australian tacklers as he goes for the line. Australia somehow strip him of the ball - there's no clear replay, but that 100% looks like the tackler hasn't released, which is probably a yellow-card given it's cynically denying England ball right on the Australian line, but the referee decides he's had enough of the half and just lets them kick it dead for half-time.

[Which Tyler]

Phew, I think I got away scot-free with being half-asleep when I posted this m-b-m. Not a single hint to be found.

I thought about challenging - but then I saw the 1am timestamp, and decided against.
Besides, I really don't want to DIScourage you from doing these - shit, does that mean I've started maturing? Seems a bit strange at my age

[loudnconfident]

Brilliant stuff,, many thx.
Minute 5 "so all he can do is slap it backwards before it lands in IFW's arms for the score. Make no mistake, this is a stonewall, 100% penalty try "
Doss Kellaway knock it directly into touch? Otherwise he's OK knocking the ball back? (Excuse my ignorance )

[Which Tyler]

Brilliant stuff,, many thx.
Minute 5 "so all he can do is slap it backwards before it lands in IFW's arms for the score. Make no mistake, this is a stonewall, 100% penalty try "
Doss Kellaway knock it directly into touch? Otherwise he's OK knocking the ball back? (Excuse my ignorance )

Yes, direct into touch, and deliberately so

[loudnconfident]

Brilliant stuff,, many thx.
Minute 5 "so all he can do is slap it backwards before it lands in IFW's arms for the score. Make no mistake, this is a stonewall, 100% penalty try "
Doss Kellaway knock it directly into touch? Otherwise he's OK knocking the ball back? (Excuse my ignorance )

Yes, direct into touch, and deliberately so

Thx!

[Puja]

Minute 41 & 42: Feels like we're annoyed at the score only being 10-7 at halftime, as we make two big tackles from the kickoff, driving Australia backwards when they were just looking to reset for a box-kick. We lose the lineout though with a very average dummy jump drill that Australia do not buy into at all, but then chase the tapdown hard and press Australia back into their 22. Eventually Australia give up on trying to make anything happen against our defence and box-kick to touch again.

Minute 43: Not a great lineout again - we try going up at the front and Australia have once again read it. We scramble it back through various desperate manoeuvres, but lose 10m and the commentary immediately start musing that we need to bring LCD on, despite neither lineout loss having anything to do with the throw.

Our rucks are a mess and we're backpedalling under pressure, so it's not a surprise when we eventually lose control. Australia hack it through and it looks dangerous, but Steward shows his quality by getting back, scooping it up and breaking through two tackles to make a break up to 35m out. Having recovered the ball, Dingwall then kicks it away with an aimless long punt that Australia can counter with - he had a good first 30-odd minutes, but his last 10 have been utter shunt.

Minute 44: We have our defence in order and Australia are generally going nowhere. They have a little half-break on the outside which earns them a few metres, but Baxter drives through the middle of their ruck to cause chaos (having listened well to the ref who told him not to jackal) and Australia play the ball on the floor rather than let us turn them over. Kicked to touch just outside the 22.

Minute 45: We make good ground through repeated forward drives, but get isolated with the last one and give away a holding-on penalty. Possibly went one too many times there.

Minute 46: Another great tackle by Underhill. Australia kick it high and Steward again doesn't claim, although in fairness, that's as much because Jorgenson has volleyballed that forwards rather than let either of them catch it.

Minute 47: "Mitchell... is maybe just a little bit short" is commentary that tickles me, although it refers to a kick rather than his physical presence. We have Australia pretty well covered here, until Underhill makes his first mistake of the game - he overreads the play and thinks he's about to go and demolish Edmed on the pull-back, but it's gone as a tip-on to Valetini instead. Underhill could possibly argue that he thought Heyes would drift outwards, but he's left too big of a gap with his spacing anyway and it's not reasonable to expect a tighthead to cover that much space.

Pepper does extraordinarily well to hunt Valetini down and Steward then crunches Pollard when he takes the offload. It is quick ball and Australia have a 4-on-2 in acres, but Roebuck does a terrific job in defence. He gets up to shut down the short pass and get into the passing lane for the long cut-out. Edmed has to throw a loopy one over the top of him, which gives him time to scramble backwards - Paisami runs an in-and-out step, which gives him room to try and beat Ford outside (and we have seen that happen with a powerful runner down the wing before), but Roebuck reads it perfectly and uses his pace to hunt him down and lasso his legs before Ford is even needed!

Ford then uses his freedom to rush up and drive the 9 backwards. The ball is popped away and Ford disengages mid-tackle and moves straight on to smash... huh. I was not expecting this one to happen when I made the counter: Tane Edmed gets utterly ruined: Earl x1, Roebuck x1, Underhill x1, FORD! x1. Unlucky not to hold him up for a turnover, tbh, but then ref calls tackle, so Ford sets his new chewtoy down.

Wasn't I supposed to be being less verbose in this m-b-m?

Anyway, we do some more solid defence and win a penalty after Australia's flopping on top of their rucks becomes more and more blatant - Underhill cementing his redemption by allowing Potter to lie down and then ostentatiously going for the jackal atop the prone rucker.

Minute 48 & 49: We kick for touch, win the lineout, and again send Earl running at the gap between lineout and backs. He makes ground again, this time with a very nice sidestep, but we're not looking to run with the change of weather and set up a box-kick. It's too long to contest and Roebuck is damned lucky that he doesn't make contact with his tackle, as Potter ducks low and turns what should've been a midriff shot into a swinging arm that could've taken his head off. Thankfully, he ducks low enough to go right under Roebuck and then stands up in time to get melted by Pepper.

Itoje makes a terrific effort to charge up and smash Bell to knock the ball loose and turn it over, but then is unlucky to be completely isolated and falling at the feet of two Australians, so we give up a penalty for holding on.

Minute 50: Australia try being clever at the tail of a lineout, but George reads it well and makes a stopping tackle that slows the ball right down. We defend well - Australia look like they've outflanked us at one point, but Mitchell does well and we turn them back inside and defend for a few more phases. Belting tackle by Dingwall in this minute - worth noting given I rinsed him for his 10 minutes of mistakes either side of halftime!

[Which Tyler]

Wasn't I supposed to be being less verbose in this m-b-m?

See what happens when you're having fun

[FKAS]

Wasn't I supposed to be being less verbose in this m-b-m?

See what happens when you're having fun

When you're veteran flyhalf starts flying into double tackles I'd say it was very acceptable.

[Puja]

Brilliant stuff,, many thx.
Minute 5 "so all he can do is slap it backwards before it lands in IFW's arms for the score. Make no mistake, this is a stonewall, 100% penalty try "
Doss Kellaway knock it directly into touch? Otherwise he's OK knocking the ball back? (Excuse my ignorance )

I looked this one up to find out where it is in the laws and it's actually in an odd place - rather than being in with the laws about lineouts or leaving the field of play, it's actually under Law 9.7 - Unfair Play. The wording is: "9.7b - A player must not: Intentionally knock, place, push or throw the ball with arm or hand from the playing area."

So it's fine to deliberately slap the ball backwards at any point, but if you do it so that it will go out of the field of play, then it's a penalty.

Puja

[FKAS]

Brilliant stuff,, many thx.
Minute 5 "so all he can do is slap it backwards before it lands in IFW's arms for the score. Make no mistake, this is a stonewall, 100% penalty try "
Doss Kellaway knock it directly into touch? Otherwise he's OK knocking the ball back? (Excuse my ignorance )

I looked this one up to find out where it is in the laws and it's actually in an odd place - rather than being in with the laws about lineouts or leaving the field of play, it's actually under Law 9.7 - Unfair Play. The wording is: "9.7b - A player must not: Intentionally knock, place, push or throw the ball with arm or hand from the playing area."

So it's fine to deliberately slap the ball backwards at any point, but if you do it so that it will go out of the field of play, then it's a penalty.

Puja

So the takeaway being spike it into the turf so it bounces before it goes out?

[Puja]

Minute 51: Australia put the box-kick up and Steward does a belting job to jump onto and tap it back - he's taken out in the air there actually, but it's play on. Feyi-Waboso gets a pass, in space, but is so bemused by this that he doesn't make full use of it to put Freeman away down the wing. We cut back inside and it's a rare bad pass from Mitchell - Ford gets the choice of reaching for it and getting smashed and losing the ball or letting it go across his face, but choosing the latter then means it hits the deck and Underhill knocks on. Australia grubber their advantage away, but the ball bobbles and Freeman taps the ball up for a hospital pass to Ford and we seal off the ruck to give away a penalty.

Minute 52: Australia kick to touch and we respond by bringing on 5 forward subs. They go off the top and there is a worrying moment where Paisami nearly makes it through Ford, but he holds on and we recover. Some good tackles and Will Stuart's first action is to win a jackal penalty.

Minute 53 & 54: We set up a decent maul from our lineout (although LCD's throw isn't the *straightest*) and Wilson pulls it down when we look like we're going to roll around the corner. We kick to touch and get a lineout on the edge of the 22.

Minute 55: Off the top at this lineout and we send Freeman on the crash ball - looks like he's hitting a brick wall, but accelerates into contact and keeps his legs pumping to make valuable metres. Mitchell goes blindside and a great run by Pollock gets us an opportunity. Mitchell snipes again, feints to pick out a great dummy run by Stuart but instead offloads to TCurry who just has to draw and give to put Chessum in at the corner. Unfortunately, TCurry's got the adrenaline going and absolutely beefs the pass, putting it wildly behind Chessum and into touch. Happens to the best of us at times, Tom. And also to me.

Minute 56: Chessum gets a hand to the ball at the lineout and disrupts Australia's tapdown, but unfortunately Mitchell can't gather the bobbling ball and it's an Australian scrum.

Minute 57: Australia stay solid at the scrum and send Paisami running at Ford again, but this time Ford gets a good grip on the ball and strips it from him. Highly amusing, but sadly the ball goes forward and we have another scrum. Still, might've taught Australia a little bit more respect for our defensive behemoth.

Minute 58: Indeed it has - this scrum, they pass back to Edmed to kick for touch. Belting kick actually - makes touch all the way up to halfway.

Minute 59: We put a high ball up, but it's too long and Australia gather with ease. They sent one back that is much more contestable, only for Steward to gather under a lot of pressure. He had a dire first half, but much better after the interval.

Mitchell puts up another box-kick and it's safe to say that this one is better. Roebuck climbs above Potter to tap it back, but the bounce of a rugby ball always hates you and it jinks away from the supporting Pollock... only for him to stretch out one hand and catch it, without breaking stride or slowing down. He then turns on the afterburners and burns off Kellaway on the outside - it should really have been a glorious finish in the corner, but Pollock misjudges it slightly and thinks he's far enough around Kellaway to start heading towards the posts, which brings him just into range for a despairing ankle-tap. Pollock's elan is somewhat interrupted by his stride changing into a tumble and frantic scrambling to just about get to his feet enough to make the line. Great try though.

Minute 60: As it turns out, Pollock could've just gone for the corner, as Ford mishits a fairly regulation kick to keep the score at 15-7. We should be out of sight by this point, but 8 points does feel much better than 3.

[Puja]

Brilliant stuff,, many thx.
Minute 5 "so all he can do is slap it backwards before it lands in IFW's arms for the score. Make no mistake, this is a stonewall, 100% penalty try "
Doss Kellaway knock it directly into touch? Otherwise he's OK knocking the ball back? (Excuse my ignorance )

I looked this one up to find out where it is in the laws and it's actually in an odd place - rather than being in with the laws about lineouts or leaving the field of play, it's actually under Law 9.7 - Unfair Play. The wording is: "9.7b - A player must not: Intentionally knock, place, push or throw the ball with arm or hand from the playing area."

So it's fine to deliberately slap the ball backwards at any point, but if you do it so that it will go out of the field of play, then it's a penalty.

Puja

So the takeaway being spike it into the turf so it bounces before it goes out?

Problem with that is that if you're still making a clear movement to push it into touch, then it's still a penalty and, if you bounce it vertically enough to add doubt, then I believe I've mentioned once or twice over the years that the bounce of a rugby ball always hates you. Only safe option is to catch it and run it out.

Puja

[FKAS]

I looked this one up to find out where it is in the laws and it's actually in an odd place - rather than being in with the laws about lineouts or leaving the field of play, it's actually under Law 9.7 - Unfair Play. The wording is: "9.7b - A player must not: Intentionally knock, place, push or throw the ball with arm or hand from the playing area."

So it's fine to deliberately slap the ball backwards at any point, but if you do it so that it will go out of the field of play, then it's a penalty.

Puja

So the takeaway being spike it into the turf so it bounces before it goes out?

Problem with that is that if you're still making a clear movement to push it into touch, then it's still a penalty and, if you bounce it vertically enough to add doubt, then I believe I've mentioned once or twice over the years that the bounce of a rugby ball always hates you. Only safe option is to catch it and run it out.

Puja

It's always better if you can catch it but not always that easy. Seems a lot of players are now being coached to jump and just get an arm up to disrupt the catch. Kelleway is in a rubbish position, the kick is so on the money and IFW has got airborne it's concede the try or just throw an arm up there and hope for the best. He did protest quite a bit afterwards which made him look guilty, for whatever reason the AR believed him and the TMO didn't bother to look at it.

[Puja]

Minute 61: Itoje makes a right cock-up of securing the restart and it's Australian ball. Suaalii puts in a delectable low kick-pass to thread through to Potter - it's so good and clean that I swore it was just a forward pass from the hands when I first saw it live and had to go back and rewind to see why it wasn't given! Thankfully, our cover defence comes over and smashes Potter and he passes forwards under pressure... Jesus h Christ, is that George Ford again? Fucksake, I set up the wrong counter. It should absolutely have been "George Ford is unexpectedly defensively effective".

Minute 62: England shy off from the drive and let Australia drive through the mark, earning a penalty. Cheap pen and very well done.

Minute 63: Messy lineout as we end up losing Itoje in the air and dropping him on Australia's side, but we get the ball back and belt it up in the air again. The ref's mike reveals that Pollock is apparently known as "Polly" by at least one of the England forwards, which is fun.

Itoje wins the tap-back from the kick, but spikes it with such force that it's like he's testing FKAS's theory and the ball bounces over everyone. We get it back, but it's messy and McReight gets the ball back for Australia.

Minute 64: Polly is being a nuisance in the Australian rucks, driving through and threatening jackals, which is fun to watch. Australia attempt to go wide and outflank us - they manage to get an overlap with some nice play, but pressure from Roebuck results in a pass going to ground. Potter goes back to try and reclaim it, but the ball bobbles away from him just as he's about to gather it and just as Steward does an exocet impression into his kidneys, giving away a penalty for tackling a player without the ball. Unfortunate - he had no way of knowing and it would've been a glorious hit (and probable turnover) if the ball had gone to heel for Potter.

Minute 65 & 66: England defend superbly - big tackles and solid connectivity driving Australia steadily backwards until they give up and kick it away. All of the forward replacements made big efforts there, including some belters from TCurry.

It's a shocking kick by Australia - cross-field away from the bulk of their players, too long to compete, and the main chasers are Valetini and one of the locks. Steward takes the simple catch and makes a nice arcing line to beat the first defender. He has got Roebuck and IFW to his left and technically a 3-on-1, but there's only 10 metres to work in and Valetini is staying wide - an early pass probably does see IFW go free, but Steward takes option 2, which is top run hard inside Valetini and then pass inside to the supporting Polly. Unfortunately Polly steps inside to beat a man, rather than heading back outside to where his support is, and that gives the Australian defence time to tackle and jackal him, conceding the penalty. Should've probably scored from that big of an Australian error - another thing on Blackett's video analysis list for the Monday.

Minute 67: Australia once again try and go wide from first phase and again look like they're going to outflank us, but again we adapt to cover them - Roebuck's left in no man's land by shooting up, but Freeman covers behind and drags Jorgensen down, leading to a spilled ball. Lovely pickup from Steward on the run, offloads out of the tackle to Freeman, who is somehow back on his feet and sprinting, and Freeman puts in a delicate grubber just before he's tackled into touch. Australia get there first (Roebuck possibly lucky to avoid giving away a penalty for falling onto the prone player), but their box-kick is shanked and it's an attacking England lineout on the 22.

Minute 68: Lovely lineout routine for LCD to hit Itoje at double-top at the back of the lineout and we set a maul. We take our time, even to the extent of the ref calling "Once stopped!" but when we do put the hammer down, we start flying, rolling up to 10m out before Australia give away the penalty. We play with the advantage, but Ford puts in a badly mishit grubber and we come back for the pen.

Minute 69: No thought of posts, even though Australia are just 8 points behind. Into the corner, good lineout to Pepper and another maul. I'd say it should've been a penalty as Australia drive while Pepper's in the air, but they get away with it and LCD is robber of a try by an Australian hand getting in (legally) and knocking it away just as he's lunging for the line. Australian scrum.

Minute 70: No scrummaging occurs.

[Mr Mwenda]

Excellent, a minor consolation for missing bonfire night by being in the wrong country. Thank you, Puja.

[Puja]

Minute 71: Paisami has learned his lesson and runs at Mitchell instead of Ford, but Mitchell puts in a very solid chewing-gum tackle which knocks him down. Paisami attempts to get back to his feet, but ends up crawling and giving away the penalty. Mitchell taps and goes and would go under the posts, but Amashukeli calls him back for being centimetres in front of the mark. Boo!

We tap it into the corner instead and try to redo minute 69, but get it right this time.

Minute 72: Not the greatest of lineout drills - there's confusion over the call and Chessum is late to the lift on Pepper at the front, but Australia aren't competing in the air so we get away with it.

They do compete at the maul however and Salakaia-Loto is cheating like a bastard - swims around offside and then compounds it by slapping the ball out of Mitchell's hands while still bound. It works against him though as it effectively causes a dummy which half of Australia's defence buy by looking to the open-side. As such, Mitchell gets a one-on-one with Jorgensen down the blind side and makes him look like a prick to just about squeeze over the line.

Minute 73: Ford misses a tough conversion as his last act of the day as FSmith and Spencer are trusted to enter the fray. Australia try dropping the kick-off on Itoje again, but he does well to tap back to Steward, who clears up.

Minute 74: Spencer belts the box-kick long and it initially looks like something of a nothing kick, but Australia are criminally casual in the backfield, acting like they've got all the time in the world. Edmed is trotting across to the openside, eyes looking up at whether there's a kick or whether he should pass, and he has absolutely no idea that TCurry is accelerating up on his blindside until someone gives him a shout half a second before impact.

Tane Edmed gets utterly ruined: Earl x1, Roebuck x1, Underhill x1, FORD! x1, TCurry x1

To be clear, this is a shocking technique from Curry - he's ridiculously upright and he's very lucky that Edmed doesn't turn in a way that puts head to shoulder, cause it's asking for a red card if any contact is made. Luckily, Edmed gets the shout, has just enough time to flinch and recoil before getting bearhugged into the ground. He's quite lucky actually - had that been Underhill, he might've had the same rib profile as Mat Rogers afterwards.

Australia recover the ball and reset, but Daugunu then makes everything worse by kicking out on the full from the edge of his 22.

Minute 75: Lineout is nice with a dummy jump from Coles that suckers the Australians and gives Itoje an uncontested jump at the back. Australia are disjointed from having tried to compete and we form a beautiful tight maul that shears through the Australian counter and picks up speed. Genge does a terrific job driving at the front and taking two Aussies with him when it shears away again, and, by the time the backs (and Polly) come in, it's going at high speed and cannot be stopped. Several Australians give it a go with professional fouls, but it's too late - frankly, the main risk to us scoring a try is Polly trying to actively rip the ball out of LCD's hands to score himself!

That maul covered the 27 metres to the line in 24 seconds - that's about 2.5 miles per hour or a solid walking speed. Brutal demolition.

Minute 76: FSmith scuffs the kick, which he'll be fuming about. 25-7 to the good guys and, realistically, we should've put at least another 10-15 points on them.

Minute 77: Messy minute. Spencer takes his usual 20 minutes to sort out a box-kick (less annoying when we're winning), Australia knock it on, we struggle to get hold of it until Stuart does a literal old-school dive-pass to Freeman, who then slices his kick to put it out on the full. The ref calls us back for the scrum and everyone's relieved.

Minute 78: Stuart pinged at the scrum and Australia go for... the corner? Edmed's off the pitch now and his replacement scuffs the kick.

Minute 79: Australia try to run a clever lineout move again, but Itoje has read this one and he tackles just as the pass is released, causing it to go to ground for England to claim. Possibility of a counter, but Spencer has no thought in his mind but the languorous setting up of a box-kick. He is an absolute handbrake of a player.

Australia are under pressure, but Polly gives away the stupidest penalty - the ruck moves and he doesn't get back onside. There's an argument that the ball was out, but it's not an argument that's really worth making for so little reward.

Minute 80: Better kick for the Australians and they get another chance to attack, but they screw up their running lines and knock-on into Spencer's arms. He tries to kick through out of a tackle for Coles to chase, but he can't get a good enough contact, so we're back for the scrum.

Minute 81 & 82: Genge has a minor altercation with Alaalatoa which looks to die down and then kicks off again, ending up in Genge somehow holding three Australian forwards by the shirt at once and offering them all outside. The ref calms things down and decides to give a penalty against Genge for "starting the scuffle" - didn't look like there was much of anything in that, but maybe he saw or heard something that kicked it off. Aus kick to the corner

Minute 83 & 84: Coles cheats like a bastard to disrupt the maul and then bring it down and unfortunately is spotted by the touch judge. He then makes the turnover so we go back for the pen, which Australia tap and go. We show some resolute defence, only for Polly to be pinged for another lazy offside in front of the back foot. It's not even like he's rushed, or even like he's achieved anything, cause he doesn't end up being the tackler - he just hasn't bothered to take a big step backwards and is lazily, stupidly, comedically obviously offside. It feels like a harsh yellow card, but frankly I can't blame Amashukeli for doing it just out of irritation.

Australia tap and go again, with several pick and goes repelled until finally one of them gets over the line and is comfortably held up. Good, determined defence to finish the game with.

[FKAS]

Wonderful work as always Puja.

Genge holding three Wallabies by the shirt and offering them all out is somehow so on brand it's not even surprising. I'm still more annoyed by Polly's lazy offside pens than I am by him nearly being caught for the try he still scores. Being onside at the breakdown is backrow bread and butter, can't give soft penalties away against better teams.