2016 Rugby Highlights

[rowan]

Under new coach Eddie Jones, England rebound from last year's World Cup disappointment to win their first 6 Nations title since 2011, going unbeaten. Italy are winless for the Wooden Spoon. Georgia cruise to a 6th straight ENC title, Belgium come up from division 1A at the expense of Portugal, with Estonia winning the second division. Turkey drop out of the bottom division as the 2016-2017 championship gets underway, revamped along geographical lines. The inaugural Americas Championship is won by Argentina, with Brazil's victory over the USA the major surprise. Argentina also wins the South American Championship, Uruguay wins the second division, Colombia the third and Guatemala the 4th. Paraguay again defeats Colombia in the 2nd & 3rd division promotion-relegation fixture. Guatemala will again face Ecuador in the 3rd & 4th division equivalent next year, having been narrowly defeated in the corresponding fixture earlier this year. An Argentina XV also edged Fiji's Warriors with a late try to win the Pacific Challenge title in Uruguay. Japan cruised to the Asian title as usual, with Malaysia winning the 2nd division, UAE the 3rd, and various regional lower division tournaments being won by Jordan, Qatar and Laos. Namibia won the African Cup with Kenya runners-up and Uganda 3rd. Zimbabwe were initially relegated, making way for second division champion Senegal, but with the tournament expanded for 2017 the Sables will return, along with Tunisia; thus keeping their World Cup 2019 chances alive (somewhat controversially). Morocco win the 3rd division and Congo the 4th. Morocco also take out the inaugural North African Tri Nations in Algeria, with Tunisia finishing 2nd and the hosts 3rd in a very tight competition. Wellington's Hurricanes win their first Super Rugby trophy, as the championship is expanded to 18 teams, including Argentina's Jaguares and Japan's Sunwolves, in a revamped format. Fiji wins the inagural Olympic 7s tournament, with Britain collecting silver and South Africa bronze. Australia win the women's gold. England defeat Ireland in an all-European Junior World Cup final. England's seniors whitewash Australia 3-0 during the Spring tours, while Ireland stun South Africa in the first test of their series. Georgia are unbeaten on a Pacific Islands tour with two victories and a draw. Hosts Romania win the Nations Cup with a 20-8 victory over an Argentina XV in the final. Fiji wins a Pacific Nations Cup reduced to themselves, Samoa & Tonga. New Zealand reclaims the Rugby Championship with a 6-0 record, their 10th title in 16 tournaments, while Argentina again upset the Springboks, 26-24. In the Autumn tours Ireland stun the All Blacks 40-29 in Chicago to register their first win against the All Blacks ever. Italy shock South Africa 20-18 for their first ever win over a former World Cup winner. Germany upset 2015 World Cup finalists Uruguay with an injury-time penalty in Heidelberg & Korea pull off a remarkable comeback in Chile to level their series with a 36-38 victory.

[Renniks]

A more readable version, because there is, actually, some interesting stuff in there:

• Under new coach Eddie Jones, England rebound from last year's World Cup disappointment to win their first 6 Nations title since 2011, going unbeaten.
• Italy are winless for the Wooden Spoon.
• Georgia cruise to a 6th straight ENC title.
• Belgium come up from division 1A at the expense of Portugal.
• Estonia win the second division.
• Turkey drop out of the bottom division as the 2016-2017 championship gets underway, revamped along geographical lines.
• The inaugural Americas Championship is won by Argentina, with Brazil's victory over the USA the major surprise.
• Argentina also wins the South American Championship, Uruguay wins the second division, Colombia the third and Guatemala the 4th.
• Paraguay again defeats Colombia in the 2nd & 3rd division promotion-relegation fixture.
• Guatemala will again face Ecuador in the 3rd & 4th division equivalent next year, having been narrowly defeated in the corresponding fixture earlier this year.
• An Argentina XV also edged Fiji's Warriors with a late try to win the Pacific Challenge title in Uruguay.
• Japan cruised to the Asian title as usual, with Malaysia winning the 2nd division, UAE the 3rd, and various regional lower division tournaments being won by Jordan, Qatar and Laos.
• Namibia won the African Cup with Kenya runners-up and Uganda 3rd.
• Zimbabwe were initially relegated, making way for second division champion Senegal, but with the tournament expanded for 2017 the Sables will return, along with Tunisia; thus keeping their World Cup 2019 chances alive (somewhat controversially).
• Morocco win the 3rd division and Congo the 4th.
• Morocco also take out the inaugural North African Tri Nations in Algeria, with Tunisia finishing 2nd and the hosts 3rd in a very tight competition.
• Wellington's Hurricanes win their first Super Rugby trophy, as the championship is expanded to 18 teams, including Argentina's Jaguares and Japan's Sunwolves, in a revamped format.
• Fiji wins the inagural Olympic 7s tournament, with Britain collecting silver and South Africa bronze.
• Australia win the women's gold.
• England defeat Ireland in an all-European Junior World Cup final.
• England's seniors whitewash Australia 3-0 during the Spring tours, while Ireland stun South Africa in the first test of their series.
• Georgia are unbeaten on a Pacific Islands tour with two victories and a draw.
• Hosts Romania win the Nations Cup with a 20-8 victory over an Argentina XV in the final.
• Fiji wins a Pacific Nations Cup reduced to themselves, Samoa & Tonga.
• New Zealand reclaims the Rugby Championship with a 6-0 record, their 10th title in 16 tournaments, while Argentina again upset the Springboks, 26-24.
• In the Autumn tours Ireland stun the All Blacks 40-29 in Chicago to register their first win against the All Blacks ever.
• Italy shock South Africa 20-18 for their first ever win over a former World Cup winner.
• Germany upset 2015 World Cup finalists Uruguay with an injury-time penalty in Heidelberg & Korea pull off a remarkable comeback in Chile to level their series with a 36-38 victory.

[rowan]

Thanks for the edit. I was going for the Eduardo Galeano single long-winded ranted effect, though not on quite the same scale, of course...