The Cringe/Hate Thread

[morepork]

This Fred is in a state of flux until such time as the actioning of a critical stabiliser enables the anti-crisis.

[Galfon]

'Stable' is a relative
Are you sure that wasn't your psychologist that said "stable" is relative term?

Could be - he is my cousin (*) after all.

(*) once removed...but found his way back.

## warning..critical mass approaching.. ##

[Numbers]

3 most cringe-worthy accents:

1 Scouser
2 Cockney
3 Provincial NZ

Others??

Brum,
Weege,
Belfast Spide
Essex,
Oz,
So-called mid-Atlantic
Anywhere in the USA south of Mason Dixon and north of Mason Dixon
Canadian (Except French-Canadian)
French-Canadian

I like Welsh accents on women and male voice choirs and surprisingly, any of those accents listed above on a porn actress adds to her appeal.

Posh Geordie, as in Durham, bangs my gongs but even something that looks like Cheryl-what's-her-bake might as well have a dog turd on the end of her nose as soon as she starts to yap!

You forgot sud avreeca accents, always reminds me of Lethal Weapon 2.

[Stones of granite]

'Stable' is a relative
Are you sure that wasn't your psychologist that said "stable" is relative term?

Could be - he is my cousin (*) after all.

(*) once removed...but found his way back.

## warning..critical mass approaching.. ##

Are you in the same Banjo ensemble also?

[Stones of granite]

3 most cringe-worthy accents:

1 Scouser
2 Cockney
3 Provincial NZ

Others??

Brum,
Weege,
Belfast Spide
Essex,
Oz,
So-called mid-Atlantic
Anywhere in the USA south of Mason Dixon and north of Mason Dixon
Canadian (Except French-Canadian)
French-Canadian

I like Welsh accents on women and male voice choirs and surprisingly, any of those accents listed above on a porn actress adds to her appeal.

Posh Geordie, as in Durham, bangs my gongs but even something that looks like Cheryl-what's-her-bake might as well have a dog turd on the end of her nose as soon as she starts to yap!

You forgot sud avreeca accents, always reminds me of Lethal Weapon 2.

On the topic of irritating accents, while we were living in Houston, my wife starting hanging out with lots of other Brit ex-pat wives and her accent developed this highly annoying aussie-like upward inflection? at the end of every phrase? as though there was a question mark there?
It annoyed the shit out me because not once did I say y'all when referencing the second person singular, and I definitely never said all-y'all when referencing the second person plural.

Fortunately, since returning, she has reverted to her Lancashire/Hertfordshire/South Perthshire hybrid.Ken.

[Mikey Brown]

I feel like this is fast becoming be the 'hate on stones of Granite' thread but that Aussie-upward-inflection-question-mark bit reminded me of one particular, cringe-inducing cunt that I was unfortunate enough to meet. There's a family guy bit in that exact theme, which I don't think was funny in the first place particularly, but it's done the rounds so many times and truly does make me cringe.

It's quite possible you haven't even seen the family guy bit I'm on about. But fuck me is people reciting bits of TV/standup they like or think is funny, as if as-libbing and conveniently not mentioning that they didn't think it up, definitely belongs in here.

[Stones of granite]

I feel like this is fast becoming be the 'hate on stones of Granite' thread but that Aussie-upward-inflection-question-mark bit reminded me of one particular, cringe-inducing cunt that I was unfortunate enough to meet. There's a family guy bit in that exact theme, which I don't think was funny in the first place particularly, but it's done the rounds so many times and truly does make me cringe.

It's quite possible you haven't even seen the family guy bit I'm on about. But fuck me is people reciting bits of TV/standup they like or think is funny, as if as-libbing and conveniently not mentioning that they didn't think it up, definitely belongs in here.

Never watched family guy. Got a link?

[rowan]

3 Provincial NZ

In case anyone is not familiar with this, it is basically the language reduced to a series of grunts, invariably with the short 'U' vowel sounds, as in shut up, without making eye contact - and actually walking away at the same time where possible - with only the vaguest of tonal variation to signify meaning. There is also an abundance of cliche words and phrases such as strewth, crikey, blimmin,' get real, get a life, bluddy, mate, cobber, grommet, joker,full credit to yuz &, of course, fush & chups . . .

[Mikey Brown]

I feel like this is fast becoming be the 'hate on stones of Granite' thread but that Aussie-upward-inflection-question-mark bit reminded me of one particular, cringe-inducing cunt that I was unfortunate enough to meet. There's a family guy bit in that exact theme, which I don't think was funny in the first place particularly, but it's done the rounds so many times and truly does make me cringe.

It's quite possible you haven't even seen the family guy bit I'm on about. But fuck me is people reciting bits of TV/standup they like or think is funny, as if as-libbing and conveniently not mentioning that they didn't think it up, definitely belongs in here.

Never watched family guy. Got a link?

It's largely not very good, and that was incredibly poorly worded from me. I meant the person was quoting a similar bit ( but clearly trying to pass it off as them being a comic genius. The thing you're complaining about is indeed very annoying, but I don't think quite as annoying as that.

[Stones of granite]

I feel like this is fast becoming be the 'hate on stones of Granite' thread but that Aussie-upward-inflection-question-mark bit reminded me of one particular, cringe-inducing cunt that I was unfortunate enough to meet. There's a family guy bit in that exact theme, which I don't think was funny in the first place particularly, but it's done the rounds so many times and truly does make me cringe.

It's quite possible you haven't even seen the family guy bit I'm on about. But fuck me is people reciting bits of TV/standup they like or think is funny, as if as-libbing and conveniently not mentioning that they didn't think it up, definitely belongs in here.

Never watched family guy. Got a link?

It's largely not very good, and that was incredibly poorly worded from me. I meant the person was quoting a similar bit ( but clearly trying to pass it off as them being a comic genius. The thing you're complaining about is indeed very annoying, but I don't think quite as annoying as that.

Well, that's exactly it. I've been beaten to the whinge by a cartoon dog.

[Galfon]

Are you in the same Banjo ensemble also?

Unfortunately I was quickly rejected due to my inability to keep a steady rhythm, despite regular administering of large and interestingly coloured pills ( sweets ? ).
Dire-lex: The tall blond lass from oop-North (Bolton posssibly) on Beeb's Strictly Dancey show, hammering out 'coople' & 'joodges' as if on commission.. nowt wrong with regional tones, but
steady as she goes..

[Stones of granite]

Are you in the same Banjo ensemble also?

Unfortunately I was quickly rejected due to my inability to keep a steady rhythm, despite regular administering of large and interestingly coloured pills ( sweets ? ).
Dire-lex: The tall blond lass from oop-North (Bolton posssibly) on Beeb's Strictly Dancey show, hammering out 'coople' & 'joodges' as if on commission.. nowt wrong with regional tones, but
steady as she goes..

Yep, Bolton. My lass has Wigan undertones, which is worse, but she usually hides it well.

[Galfon]

HIA abuse for tactical subbing - bound to happen.
Mind you, there are health & safety advantages for players not taking recourse to blood/fake blood related options..

[Stones of granite]

Golf

and Golfers. With their argyle pattern lambswool sweaters and socks. The wankstains.

[onlynameleft]

Are you in the same Banjo ensemble also?

Unfortunately I was quickly rejected due to my inability to keep a steady rhythm, despite regular administering of large and interestingly coloured pills ( sweets ? ).
Dire-lex: The tall blond lass from oop-North (Bolton posssibly) on Beeb's Strictly Dancey show, hammering out 'coople' & 'joodges' as if on commission.. nowt wrong with regional tones, but
steady as she goes..

I know a couple of London barrister types that do this. One is from St Helens and the other from Crewe. Dead posh until it comes to saying boot (but) or similar. So may not be deliberate.

[Stones of granite]

Are you in the same Banjo ensemble also?

Unfortunately I was quickly rejected due to my inability to keep a steady rhythm, despite regular administering of large and interestingly coloured pills ( sweets ? ).
Dire-lex: The tall blond lass from oop-North (Bolton posssibly) on Beeb's Strictly Dancey show, hammering out 'coople' & 'joodges' as if on commission.. nowt wrong with regional tones, but
steady as she goes..

I know a couple of London barrister types that do this. One is from St Helens and the other from Crewe. Dead posh until it comes to saying boot (but) or similar. So may not be deliberate.

You're not getting confused with Maxine Peake are you?

[Mellsblue]

Golf

and Golfers. With their argyle pattern lambswool sweaters and socks. The wankstains.

Middle aged men in Lycra.

[Stones of granite]

Golf

and Golfers. With their argyle pattern lambswool sweaters and socks. The wankstains.

Middle aged men in Lycra.

To be fair, I'm more of an old man in Lycra.

[Parsifal]

James Blunt. The talentless squawking cunt should be disemboweled. "You're beautiful, it's true..." Fuck off.

[Lizard]

James Blunt. The talentless squawking cunt should be disemboweled. "You're beautiful, it's true..." Fuck off.

You should have a look at his Twitter. He is very woke about that song and his career in general. Quite funny, too.

https://twitter.com/JamesBlunt

[onlynameleft]

Unfortunately I was quickly rejected due to my inability to keep a steady rhythm, despite regular administering of large and interestingly coloured pills ( sweets ? ).
Dire-lex: The tall blond lass from oop-North (Bolton posssibly) on Beeb's Strictly Dancey show, hammering out 'coople' & 'joodges' as if on commission.. nowt wrong with regional tones, but
steady as she goes..

I know a couple of London barrister types that do this. One is from St Helens and the other from Crewe. Dead posh until it comes to saying boot (but) or similar. So may not be deliberate.

You're not getting confused with Maxine Peake are you?

Ha, no, not as hot unfortunately.

[Mikey Brown]

People in the moving lane on escalators that just stop dead as they approach the top/bottom. What is this? Why do you exist? What are you afraid of? That you won't manage the transition? Have you just got a bit tired and need a rest? Are you aware of the 30 people behind you having to slam to a halt?

My god. Fuck off.

[rowan]

Yes, I've witnessed this many times and it is most annoying.

I also hate when you are walking quickly because you are in a hurry and some twat (invariably a young male, but occasionally female) decides they don't want to be passed and speeds up, and next thing they're just getting in your freaking way all the time!!

In Turkey it is also very common for people (especially men) to walk three astride along a sidewalk that is only wide enough for a maximum of 3 people. & they give way to NO ONE

[rowan]

How about people who park their trolleys in the queue at the grocery store register then carry on doing their shopping

& those who are in such a darned hurry to get in the queue ahead of you but then take all day and shoot the breeze while getting served as if they've got all day

& then, of course, there are those complete TYRANTS who enter the fast lane with more than 5 items in their baskets! I've seen them with as many as ten or twelve on occasions. Unbelievable

Oh, & let's not forget the credit card payments for a mere few items that always takes about SIX HOURS because there is something wrong with the card or the freaking machine

& what's with those imbeciles who don't even get their wallets or purses out until the teller has actually added up everything, told them the total, then waited politely for a few seconds with other customers to serve? Do you think it might have occurred to them at some stage before this that they would actually have to pay for everything?

[belgarion]

How about people who park their trolleys in the queue at the grocery store register then carry on doing their shopping

& those who are in such a darned hurry to get in the queue ahead of you but then take all day and shoot the breeze while getting served as if they've got all day

& then, of course, there are those complete TYRANTS who enter the fast lane with more than 5 items in their baskets! I've seen them with as many as ten or twelve on occasions. Unbelievable

Oh, & let's not forget the credit card payments for a mere few items that always takes about SIX HOURS because there is something wrong with the card or the freaking machine

& what's with those imbeciles who don't even get their wallets or purses out until the teller has actually added up everything, told them the total, then waited politely for a few seconds with other customers to serve? Do you think it might have occurred to them at some stage before this that they would actually have to pay for everything?

& the complete & utter negative IQ knuckle draggers who goto a s;ef serve cash machine clearly marked as 'CARD ONLY', scan all their
items, get a total, spend 5mins trying toi find their wallet/purse, open said wallet & purse & then wonder why the machine wont't accep
their crisp £5/£10 pund notes or shiny pound coins.